A while ago, as one of my friends turned 21 I freaked out knowing that I would be next. 21 to me seemed like a big number. It’s not that we’re growing and getting older… no! That’s neither the case nor the issue. It just freaks me out how years seem to flash themselves so quickly before our eyes. It feels like only two days ago I celebrated my 7th birthday. Yet, somehow, it feels like any moment tomorrow I’ll be blowing my THIRTY candles… so soon. See what I mean? And I still find myself asking “When did all this happen?”
Speaking of my seventh birthday, I still remember that day very well. My mother got me a cake and got me a couple of those candles that never seem to EVER go out! I mean no matter how much I tried to blow and blow and blow, they would just be there shining brighter than ever. I then realized that they just wanted to laugh at me. So mean, yet sweet.
Days passed by and continued to pass as my life got filled with incidents and lessons…
Ten years later…
On my 17th birthday I remember I was lonely… my friends were all around me but I was going through a phase of confusion. Something very weird was going on in my head and mind. Believe it or not, I don’t know what was wrong but something inside me was aggressively rejecting every passing thought and idea!
My 18th birthday was peaceful. Things were extremely smooth and I was filled with hope, light, and pleasure. Things were in perfect balance and shape… everything! There were struggles here and there and sometimes things went extremely wrong urging me to do things I would never think of doing today. But after all, this is what growing up is all about. Oh yeah, I got my driving license too.
My 19th birthday was amazing. But wait till it got to its end. At the end of my 19th year, I found myself face to face with the consequences of every rule I secretly broke and every command I courageously fooled. It was the slap of reality that woke me up. Also, something very bitter happened opening with it the doors to a dark life. For months and months, when I thought life was perfect and amazing, I never realized how horrible it was until the end… until my 20th birthday approached! I decided that I hate my life and even more than anything I hated myself.
My 20th birthday… what can I say. It was interesting, I must say, and I felt like an adult. I felt that I have literally changed inside and out. It wasn’t the creation of what I wanted to be, it was the occurrence of what I MUST be… what I SHOULD be… what I’m SUPPOSED to be. Actually, I found myself automatically living my age. I became very logical in how I interacted with people. I started building my own territory drawing red lines where they should be, between me and the people around me (Because you see, not everyone is your friend and some people will never know how to appreciate you. Thus, not everyone is worthy of your respect). Things went into some sort of a logical balance. My interests became different, my intentions became more pure, my ambitions went higher, my aims were now beyond the stars and my relationships with everyone around me became more stabilized and most importantly: My mother and I no longer have aggressive misunderstandings. In fact, today we’re like best friends.
As my 21st birthday (today: 27th June) began to get closer and closer, I also noticed that in addition to all the positive changes that happened to me when turning 20, I today became more responsible in my actions and I stand on solider grounds. Also, losing my grandfather played a role in forming a new shape of faith and eventually what happened is: this improvement in my faith made me even more confident and added to my pride. Yes, it’s all about pride! In a world like ours, if you fail to feel proud then you no longer play a role, you no longer perfectly fit or exist. At least, that’s my opinion.
So today, I will be having 21 candles and as much as I was freaked out I must say that now I feel excited and so strongly encouraged… to continue living with pride, to run after my ambitions and make my dreams come true.
On my 21st birthday, if there is one wish within my heart I would just wish for my friends and family to be as blissful and close as they are today. Besides my family, my friends are the true warmth in my life for they make me smile, laugh, keep me safe and still they share my sorrow and wipe away my tears. I would name them one by one but they do know themselves so very well.
To all my friends, my birthday wish is to ROOOOOOOOOOOCK THE CITYYYYYYYYYYYY WILLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD with our AMAZING vim and vigor ;) and the 21 candles I blow today are dedicated to all of you.
Note to self: 21 ain’t old! 21 is elegant. (22 is “CHIC” though LOL)
Speaking of my seventh birthday, I still remember that day very well. My mother got me a cake and got me a couple of those candles that never seem to EVER go out! I mean no matter how much I tried to blow and blow and blow, they would just be there shining brighter than ever. I then realized that they just wanted to laugh at me. So mean, yet sweet.
Days passed by and continued to pass as my life got filled with incidents and lessons…
Ten years later…
On my 17th birthday I remember I was lonely… my friends were all around me but I was going through a phase of confusion. Something very weird was going on in my head and mind. Believe it or not, I don’t know what was wrong but something inside me was aggressively rejecting every passing thought and idea!
My 18th birthday was peaceful. Things were extremely smooth and I was filled with hope, light, and pleasure. Things were in perfect balance and shape… everything! There were struggles here and there and sometimes things went extremely wrong urging me to do things I would never think of doing today. But after all, this is what growing up is all about. Oh yeah, I got my driving license too.
My 19th birthday was amazing. But wait till it got to its end. At the end of my 19th year, I found myself face to face with the consequences of every rule I secretly broke and every command I courageously fooled. It was the slap of reality that woke me up. Also, something very bitter happened opening with it the doors to a dark life. For months and months, when I thought life was perfect and amazing, I never realized how horrible it was until the end… until my 20th birthday approached! I decided that I hate my life and even more than anything I hated myself.
My 20th birthday… what can I say. It was interesting, I must say, and I felt like an adult. I felt that I have literally changed inside and out. It wasn’t the creation of what I wanted to be, it was the occurrence of what I MUST be… what I SHOULD be… what I’m SUPPOSED to be. Actually, I found myself automatically living my age. I became very logical in how I interacted with people. I started building my own territory drawing red lines where they should be, between me and the people around me (Because you see, not everyone is your friend and some people will never know how to appreciate you. Thus, not everyone is worthy of your respect). Things went into some sort of a logical balance. My interests became different, my intentions became more pure, my ambitions went higher, my aims were now beyond the stars and my relationships with everyone around me became more stabilized and most importantly: My mother and I no longer have aggressive misunderstandings. In fact, today we’re like best friends.
As my 21st birthday (today: 27th June) began to get closer and closer, I also noticed that in addition to all the positive changes that happened to me when turning 20, I today became more responsible in my actions and I stand on solider grounds. Also, losing my grandfather played a role in forming a new shape of faith and eventually what happened is: this improvement in my faith made me even more confident and added to my pride. Yes, it’s all about pride! In a world like ours, if you fail to feel proud then you no longer play a role, you no longer perfectly fit or exist. At least, that’s my opinion.
So today, I will be having 21 candles and as much as I was freaked out I must say that now I feel excited and so strongly encouraged… to continue living with pride, to run after my ambitions and make my dreams come true.
On my 21st birthday, if there is one wish within my heart I would just wish for my friends and family to be as blissful and close as they are today. Besides my family, my friends are the true warmth in my life for they make me smile, laugh, keep me safe and still they share my sorrow and wipe away my tears. I would name them one by one but they do know themselves so very well.
To all my friends, my birthday wish is to ROOOOOOOOOOOCK THE CITYYYYYYYYYYYY WILLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD with our AMAZING vim and vigor ;) and the 21 candles I blow today are dedicated to all of you.
Note to self: 21 ain’t old! 21 is elegant. (22 is “CHIC” though LOL)
7 comments:
happy birthday to u.. wish u the best.. and i envy u "in a superly good way" for the good words u have been shot with from ur friend deedee ;)
i saw her post first.. and i didn't wana write a single word till i see who is cancerian ;)
hope both of u a long lasting friendship full of healthy sugar and just the right amount of salt ;) that would bring the most delicious of taste to both of u ;)
happy birthday :)
The Simper: Thanks a lot and hey I appreciate what you wrote. Loved the ingredients you suggested for our friendship hehe...
lirun: You have a peaceful smile :P
-- The Simper =P Honestly you leave me speeechLESs =D I appreciate the fact that you've admired my words in my post=)
They all came from my heart =)...
I wish you the very same with your friends tooooo!! =D
Hehehe thanks for the ingredients ;)!!!!
-- Canc3rian,Honestly I love the spirit. An added candle every year doesn't make a man wise, it is rather the experience he has which makes or breaks him. I'm reallllllly glad that you were always able to remain strong and confident.
xxx, I'm glad you've enjoyed da SUPRISE! =D U DESERVE MOREEEEEEE
*HUGZ*
i am sooo happy for you
thanks miracle .... You've always been so sweet. ;)
Im glad you enjoyed your 21st Birthday !! WE ARE GETTING OLD.. but always remember that no matter how old we get we will always look HOT, SEXY, and YOUNG !! We will always look amazing even in our graves after we decay.. ;p
Sara: Omg what you said is scary! heheheh but ENTIRELY TRUE.. may5e9na... and it's not our fault that we're born to be too sexy and too cute and tooo coool :P hehe
and I would like to thank you 3al surprise you and everyone!!
DEEEDEE: I know you were supposed to be there... and to me it was like you were already there walla thanks.... !
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