From 1:00 to 4:00 AM

Just like everybody else in this world… just like everyone around us… just like anyone we see whether we know them or not, we have issues. We have problems and things we think we have no solutions to. Yet, we keep digging and walking in circles trying to find a way, not the easy way out, but the best way out!

From 1:00 to 4:00 Am… when people like me are supposed to be sleeping and resting and dreaming of tomorrow, I instead stay up all night and drown in my own thoughts, worries, memories, manifestations, dreams. Every thought seems to build up a step for the thought coming after.

Those steps keep going higher and higher and finally I start to reach the top. Suddenly, I trip and everything I built falls, like my tears, and collapses, like myself. I end up crying myself to sleep. Sometimes, I don’t sleep at all. At other times, though, I get a grip and smile totally convinced that tomorrow I will have a laugh looking back at my days/nights of confusion.



It’s been a while since I cried now. I’m becoming tougher and tougher by the second. I like that. It’s what I longed to be…! Yet, my heart still beats out receptive weeps of softness.



Although my achievements aren’t much, I still consider them lovely steps that make me proud. Although people might think I haven’t yet seen the world I feel like I lived a thousand lives. The number of years you lived is nothing in comparison to the simple incidents that taught you what one could never have learnt in a life time. Yes, I learnt lessons and lessons and lessons… I could write a book. Only my ink would be my tears and my inspiration would be my pride. My wounds, however, would be my manuscript.



Yes, from 1:00 to 4:00 Am, the world could be sleeping but still I am breathing with eyes wide open a nonstop-flow of memories, of reviews and of meditations. Nothing broke me and nothing will. Many painful incidents hurt me so much but only proved to me that my faith is strongly deep in God, in fate, in tomorrow and in those who love me.



Loved? Yes, by so many people I could even lose count of. I have friends who would do anything for me. I have parents who cherish me. I have siblings who miss me when I’m gone and come to me with stories to tell and laughs to share.



How can life be so perfect and yet so dull? Or is it just my “inability to sleep” speaking with anger now?



Okay now the sun is up… Good morning and sweet dreams to me!