Where did they go?

I find myself asking...

Where did all these years go? Where did the child “me” die? When did it all happen? I can swear that it all feels like a dream that just slipped away through the fingers of our hands… Just like the sands of time.

I am soon to become 21 years old. I was 6 years old only yesterday when I was sobbing sadly and silently behind my room’s door. Nobody knew why and nobody ever found me. I never wanted people to see me cry. Only I knew that I was sobbing because my eldest brother was teasing me over something I can’t remember now. I then shared my pain and complained to my other brother who’s only one year older than I am.

Both of us always shared childish adventures, risked everything and secretly broke a thousand rules everyday. What cares did we have? what worries kept us up all night? Nothing… it was simply childhood.

Time… Days really run and the years seem to run even faster. It was only yesterday when I walked into a room and saw something that attracted my eyes evoking my innocent childish curiosity. I walked towards a square peace of hard paper that looked very unusually shiny and smooth. I put my entire palm on it in attempt to grab it to look at it closely and check out what it could exactly be. Soon enough I was crying out of fear trying to get it off my hand… but it was perfectly stuck to my skin now. Yes, it was glue to capture rats and mice! Innocent childhood…! *Yes, this is when I learnt that curiosity DID kill the cat*

All those blameless days of naïve-ness and spotlessness of actions and dreams are today long gone. To me, they were days of weakness and discomfort for I was completely lost whenever without my mother or brother and whenever not home. I was a child who feared the whole world and trusted nobody but her own mother and her mother’s shadow! Such a cancerian character! In my head I always thought and acted in terms of my mother’s rules. I was no older than 7 or 8. Such a cancerian child I was.

I thought that chickenpox was the end of the world, I thought mosquito bites meant that I would die, I thought that when one of my eye lashes fell it meant I will soon end up losing all my hair, I totally believed that people on TV could see us watch them!

But no… seriously… when did all these years pass by? Years passed within a blink. Soon I became an independent individual… A grown up.