Photos, Changes and Lessons.

I was going through old albums looking at photos of when my siblings and I were really young. Young with dirty cheeks, clothes that had stains of all colors you could imagine, messy hair, face expressions only children would have and most importantly; we were being us - being purely natural. Looking at these photos also took me back in time. I could relive the moment when each photo was taken. I still remember when, why and how some photos were taken. In some photos I was very shy I wouldn’t even smile. In other photos where my mom had really done a great job keeping my hair and dress very neat, I would look so stiff with a forced smile. That is of course because I was never used to being so neat as a child. Not forgetting the fact that I never had sisters back then which meant that my role models were dirty messy brothers. So you could only imagine how hard it was for me to smile with glee to the camera. I just couldn’t wait to take off all the pinky stuff and put on my raggy shorts and go out to play on a pile of sand with my brothers and whoever else was there too.

Oh yes… how we’ve changed! Life really filled up our minds and brains. It’s not only life alone but in fact, the contribution first comes from within YOU. It comes from what your parents filled your spirit with. It’s the push behind your parents wise decisions and choices. It’s the guidance and escort from your parents. But most importantly it’s YOU who decided to follow these steps with acknowledgement.

Looking at those photos I couldn’t stop thinking - I never knew back then one little tiny bit of what I know today; I never expected to have the dreams I have today; I never even thought of thinking of what could today be like; I didn’t know how innocent I was and I definitely never thought of what I would be capable of doing today, let alone tomorrow! All these meditations kept rushing in and out my head. I then thought; What does man know anyways?! Man is week with his knowledge but according to his time he is certainly a mastermind, only to become tomorrow’s ignorance, for tomorrow a new genius shall stand.

Feelings grow with us as we grow. Photos are only kept to prove to us that we are still who we are - only a bigger, funkier, more rebellious version has taken shape. I still remember my pink blouse that had the drawing of a woman. I remember that if I were wearing it at night I would never go stand in front of a mirror because the reflection of that lady scared me. I remember how I kept checking all day if I turned into a werewolf yet - just because I had a nightmare on the subject. I still remember how I slapped my dad late at night when I was about four because he scolded me earlier that day. I will always remember the anger I carried when I was around certain people.

As children we all went through these feelings, but hey, have we ever noticed that the feelings are still as strong today as they were back then? As kids we got so scared and worried over silly things because compared to our age, the fear is just as big as it is of today. The fear that I got when I was 19 getting my "yatho0m" is just as strong as the fear I got when I was only about 5 or 6 watching the episode of Tom & Jerry where the witch comes along. Just imagine that! Anyway fear is just an example, there’s all kinds of feelings like sadness, nervousness and excitement.

All this really teaches me to never underestimate a child’s reaction to something. Just like how we have to take our cameras to the eye level of the interviewee or the scene of action, we should also take our minds and walk or play along our conversations putting in mind the level this child is seeing themselves in. When we were kids we needed that. I have temporarily moved to Live at my grandmother’s house and it opened my eyes to many things. I learnt that mood swings are your worst enemy and should be defeated in order to survive. You either kill your mood or lose the people. I’d rather choose none of the above. Instead, I’ll use people to please my mood and vise-versa; I’ll reshape my mood to please both, me and the people. So, yes we do take photos as lesson reviews besides as memories that could make us either smile or cry. And yes, we do learn from children around us because we were once the children surrounding other grownups. The plan isn’t for you only to grow and survive but also to play a role in helping and escorting the younger generation the same way other grownups held your hand lifting you up to the world and dreams you live today as a young grownup.

When I see a photo I see more than just an image. I see words, lessons, reflections and facts. You see how you’ve changed and how you can bring change to others. But best of all, you see that no matter how much "change" can affect the "you" inside you, you still grow to keep the "real" you somewhere inside.

However, if you lock yourself and your mind out of this world, you will find that little child in you again. Such a graceful moment that would be... !

I admit I have made mistakes in my life just like anybody else. The more mistakes I make, or the more balance I lose, the more attached I get to the innocent photos which remind me of who I am and what I was. Hopefully they would reload my spirit. But unfortunately, some photos take me to painful memories of sad times or evoke an old pain. However, I keep thanking Allah and my parents that I am who I am. I am proud of who I am and what I do and my dreams will build a stronger base until I could finally touch them and see them alive. I push everyone to pride because pride pushes away all the torpedoes life can offer along the way. Positive, optimistic pride is highly needed and recommended.